Chapter 4 | Meditation: Knowing Inside Out

In my last chapter, I wrote about how I found some interesting videos on YouTube to build up my interest in meditation. I went through several videos as there are a number of methodologies regarding meditation. But which one is the right one? Which one is the best one? Can meditation only be done in typical way or there are easy way too? Several questions like these were boggling my mind but, by this time I was sure that I would definitely get my answer.


I still remember the night in Norway when after dinner I was sitting for meditation, I plugged in the earphone and started listening “OHM” mantra. It penetrated into my heart and about after 15 minutes, I found my body got stiffed. I ignored and continued.


After about an hour, when I opened my eyes, I found a different energy in me. I was so excited that I practiced this for several months and even when I came back to India, I started this with my daughter.


But, then after few more months I realise that my appetite is for something more. But what is it? Is it something related to opening chakras or knowing oneself.


ThenĀ one day, I came across to know about a very old methodology for controlling oneself by knowing oneself.


This methodology was started by Buddha and named as ‘VIPASSANA’.


I started reading about it on the Internet. Then I found Vipassana online course for 3 months which was free for Indians…but the nominations were closed that time. So, I waited for about 2 months to get myself registered for the course and the day came when I began the course for next 3 months.
There was no time limit for it. That is, it is ones choice to do it when one is comfortable to do it. I chose night time as there were no disturbances during night, no tension for getting late for office nor ringing of door bell, no shouting of street vendor, no voice of neighbors or kids. It was complete sound of silence during night.


So, I practised hard and started meditating exactly how it was guided and use to ask the questions also from the moderator if I had any.


After finishing the course, for few days, I found it ok, but then I realized that what I was looking for was not achieved by this course. Although this course was extremely good, but since I was unable devote sufficient time for this so may be I couldn’t achieve what I was looking for.


I started ruffling my grey matter and asked myself “Is this the thing I was looking for?” The answer came sparkling… “NO”.


Then what it is? Why I was still restless? What was I looking for? Do I need to search outside or if I can find it deep inside myself.


The journey took some more exciting turns which I will share in my next chapters. Thanks for being patience and thanks for your motivation. May you be happy and healthy.






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